Don't Look So Scared, My Friend. It's Just Death We're Talking About Here

What happens after you die?

One of the questions humanity has never found an answer to. Not that they haven’t tried. Heaven, hell, reincarnation, atomic particles – people have come up with all sorts of things to explain the unexplainable. Unfortunately, all of these theories are useless. You can never know until you die. And as far as anyone’s aware, no one comes back to tell the tale.

Well luckily for you, I’m here to clear some things up. Sit down and relax, my friend. We’ve got all the time in the world.

My sincere apologies since this does not apply to those who are cremated. Unfortunately, I am unable to go through the process again to get back on that to you.

Naturally, you have to be buried first. It’s not that bad if you’re not claustrophobic that is. Even calming after all the sobbing and talking at the funeral. Hearing your loved ones crying over you is one of the worst sounds in the world. But here, in this coffin, there’s just darkness and silence. Doesn’t take long for it to start getting to you. Sometimes you hear vague footsteps above but it’s not like you can scream for help. Logically the air should’ve run out ages ago and you can feel the lack of oxygen, and yet somehow you don’t black out. After a while, you start wishing you could. Sucks the dead don’t need oxygen, right?

Soon enough maggots make their way through the wood and start nibbling on your skin. It hurts like hell, not to mention it’s absolutely disgusting, but you can’t do a thing to take them off. You’re forever stuck in one pose. Sounds a little uncomfortable, right? Well, it’s not like you can anything about that since you’re dead. Just reminding in case you forgot. It’s easy to sometimes.

After a little while longer you notice a process is happening to your body. That, my friend, is called decomposition. Little by little you're just disappearing - your skin, your muscles, your organs and, lastly, your bones. And you‘ll feel it, every single second.

You probably are a bit freaked out at this point, but worry not, dear friend. It‘s all a natural course of nature. Besides, it‘s not like you‘re going anywhere. It‘s called a resting spot for a reason. And you will rest. Forever. Whatever that means. Just you and your thoughts. And the darkness. Waiting for something else to arrive. Even hell would be better than this.

Is there anything else? That, my friend, I don‘t know. Maybe you can see for yourself soon enough.

Don‘t forget.

Our time comes eventually.

Why are you running away?

Must‘ve scared you off.

Oh well.

You‘ll come back someday.